Everyday, every minute, every second. I’m so tired, can’t you see? I wish everything could go to the way it used to be. This thing being non-existent. It’s supposed to be easy. Why is it so hard? God, please help me. I can’t sink lower. I can’t go deeper. Stop this right now. Oh distraction, distraction, where are you when I need you?
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Welcome Back!
Welcome back to my life, sayang! You’ve gone quite a while. What a nice surprise. Wonder what’s in your store for me this time.. 
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The Stupidest Mistake
I made the stupidest mistake two days ago, talking about what I know could never ever be mentioned in this thing I’m in. Stupid, stupid. I don’t wanna talk about it with with anyone, cos any of them would probably say, I told you so.
Now I have to live with the consequences. I cannot take back what happened. Oh my God, I can’t believe I let myself brought up that topic. Very stupid. Whatever shit he thinks about me now is definitely for me to blame. And whatever thing he’s doing to handle what he thinks happened because of that conversation is also for me to blame.
I just hate myself so much right now. It will never be the same anymore. No more fun like it used to be. If only, if only. But nothing’s gonna change. What’s done is done. I’m just gonna disappear for a while. Detoxify myself.
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What a month!
Finally I can see half of my bed without anything lying on top of it but my two pillows. You guys who really know me probably already have a clue on how tough this last one month has been on my life. Really really adventurous if I must say. And definitely not something that I would forget soon.
Anyway, now that I’ve got my life back on track, I have to do my best to keep it going in the right direction.
No more distractions please. Focus.
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The Taste of Sin
Isn’t it a wonder how as a human being, you realize that as life goes on, you compromise? All the limits you set, all the boundaries you made, all shift or even gone completely.
The kind of person that I have become, or in the making, is definitely not someone that I would ever thought I’d be. I just couldn’t help it from happening.
I was bedazzled.
He is so wrong, but yet so right.
And the seduction.. oh man, that was the hardest part.
You know how you are supposed to be feeling sorry for the sins you’ve committed and promise to never do it again? Well, none of it applies.
I can’t wait to have another sip.
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Alone at Starbucks Sency
So here I am, alone at Starbucks Senayan City.
I was actually going for a night out with a friend, but she bailed on me cos she’s sick. She only forgets to mention it half an hour sooner so I wouldn’t already be on my way here.
Anyway, I decided to make the most of it, no matter what happens. Hehe. I just went to Starbucks instead of Soho and treat myself a Grande Caramel Macchiato.. for half price.
Great deal, huh?! I got good coffee and only paid half of it cos I brought my own tumbler. The moral of this promotion is, the less you use paper coffee cups, the less damage you cause the environment. And Starbucks is willing to reward our good will, along with reducing their costs on cups of course.
So long, wish you can join me later.
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Disappointment
Disappointment comes in so many forms. It happens when you found out you didn’t get the job you always wanted. Or when your scholarship application didn’t get through. It also comes when you decided to meet someone you just met online the day before and realized that he’s not good looking, or he doesn’t think you’re good looking, or you two got lost in translation and spent all night not talking. Disappointment also comes when you realized that he’s just not that in to you, or he thinks that you’re annoying, or he doesn’t have the mood talking to you, or he just doesn’t respond even if you’ve thrown yourself at him.
When that happens, you are entitled to feel insecure, defeated, or somewhat furious. Just take a deep breath, get away from your computer screen for a while. Close your eyes. Calm yourself. Do not get back online. Get to your phone. Erase all his messages he sent, you sent to him, his number, his call logs. Do not stealth on his yahoo, it never turns out well for you.
Just remember all the things why he is so wrong for you in so many levels. Seriously, you don’t want to end up with this guy. Find yourself another obsession. Kill your time. If you have work to do, make sure that most of the time, it’s work all the time.
Don’t let this guy consumes you. So he didn’t catch your bait, just suck it in. There are a lot of other fishes in the sea. Leave in style, never reach him again. You deserve the world, and he’s not in it.
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Tags: Disappointment, Life, Moving on, Obsession
I made u upset?!
I said u look older than I remember.. and that made u upset? And not just a one minute upset, but two days upset?? with some drinking scenes?! I cannot believe this. Ur not Benjamin Button who gets younger as years gone by!!!
Do I not have the right to get upset too when I found out that u lied to me about ur age? Fine, it’s only one year and yes, ur still younger than what I had once. But still, where’s the honesty? If only u’d have been honest to me, I’d be just fine with it. And u didn’t admit that u lied to me or maybe u just forget ur own age. I know I wouldn’t forget mine.
What do u want to do now? Seriously, maybe we should take a break.
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Seriously, it hurts
Do u know what’s actually harder for me than deciding which job is best for me when i have two job offers? It’s deciding what to do with my love life right now. I’m doomed. Real doomed.
God, please help me. I don’t want to hurt anyone.
Although I know I’m already hurt in the process.
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I feel sad right now
And it’s all because of u.
Don’t want to talk to u for a while.
Take care.
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Tags: sad
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